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Worshipping Lali

To fix the broken ‘other’

I began to grow suspicious of my practice as a psychotherapist when I, weary and disenchanted, reflectively came to terms with the silent imperative of my clinical training: to fix the broken ‘other’ while maintaining a professional distance from his messiness. As I sat, in countless sessions, listening to the deep voices from the fractures of my clients’ lives, I felt the itchy urge to break through the shell of my rigid world, jump out of the detritus of my theories, and tightly embrace them – to let them know that I felt like them many times, that I was no ‘better’ than they were, and that they were beautiful in their imperfections.

Today, as I recover from my conditioning and education, I realize that I can no longer fix anyone. I refuse to. People aren’t tools to be employed by mercantile systems. In the stead of fixing them up, making them amenable for industrial occupation, I choose to dance with ‘them’. What most of us need are wounded healers and sacred spaces, wherein the distance between the healer and the healed is ironically shortened and paradoxically non-existent, wherein the master becomes poetically entangled in the playfulness of healing, wherein we finally see ourselves as part of a magical, indeterminate world of performance that understands our fractures as the treasured places through which new light comes.

1 Comment
  • Teresa Holler on July 24, 2021

    Greetings! I am so grateful to have recently discovered your work. I am an early intervention special educator “dancing” with parents of children with autism and developmental delays. Your insights as poet, psychologist, philosopher and parent of a child with autism uniquely qualifies you to write something to support these families. Please share something to encourage them and to help the medical community understand a more nuanced way of helping families. Join me in helping them see the gifts their child brings. I would love to share your work with the families I work with. Perhaps something easily accessible. Let me know your thoughts.
    Kindest regards,
    Teresa

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Falling might very well be flying – without the tyranny of coordinates.